The first time I saw pornography was when I was 13 years old on a school trip. I was shocked when one of my friends pulled out a magazine from his bag containing many loose, sexually suggestive photographs. (Of course, this was many years before the Internet.) My friend told me that it would be good to know in advance because I will probably know in the future. Indeed, the images are very attractive and the strange thing is that every image I saw was imprinted on my mind until I could not forget it.

Not long after this time, television began showing occasional pornographic films on Saturday nights. So this time I would get home on time and go to bed and just as everyone was asleep I would slowly get up and turn down the volume of the TV and sit and watch. With that, my head became infected with pornography. Even when I was a very young child, after watching pornography, I was so turned on that I couldn't fall asleep. This became my daily routine for many years. Every time I do this, I feel guilty and swear to God that I will never do it again. To be honest, I was powerless to stop this.

I always fear what people will think of me if they find out.

I was in my early twenties when the internet took off. Because of the internet, it became very easy to find all kinds of pornography. I simply started watching all kinds of pornography, pictures, movies, music, all on my little phone. I have always promised myself to stop this practice, but never once have I succeeded. It will be more than I can handle. This life cycle of watching porn, masturbating, then regretting, then vowing not to do it again, then, then watching again.....I don't know when this will stop in my life. To the outsider, I look like a very nice person, but in fact, I was the leader of the religious institution where I worshipped. But I was the only one who knew the darkness inside me. I always fear what people will think of me if they find out. I thought that this problem would be solved if I married a wife. I got married, but my addiction to pornography and self-gratification followed even in my marriage.

My first true liberation began the day I realized that pornography was not about sex or beauty or nature. Of course, I want to look at pornography until I can't control myself, not because I find a beautiful woman, but it's all my own problem. It stems from my hunger for acceptance, admiration, love and power. The real reason why I'm kissing is that the world of pornography can't see my beauty, but those beautiful women in the world of pornography love me so much that I swear by my beauty in the fantasy world I've created. Pornography is a product of my head and heart training, so if I am to break free from this addiction, it is my mindset that must be broken first. In order to end my slavery to pornography, I began to fight for intellectual freedom, replacing the lies I told myself with truth.

It was my wife's love for me that helped me break this addiction once and for all.

One of the things that helped me overcome pornography was my good friends. I had friends I could trust. Friends with whom I share everything; I had friends who would not stop praying for me even if I had lost the same disaster for the thousandth time. Whatever happened to my final victory over pornography and adultery; It was the day I told my dear wife, my best friend, about my past and present struggles. When I told her everything, I told her that if I fell in love with this again, I would also tell her. I told her everything without leaving anything out. I thought she was very angry and angry. But it was my confusion over everything that saddened her the most and she promised to stand by me, help me and pray for me. Ever since I confessed to her, however, pornography's power over me had been broken in many ways, and my wife's great love for me helped me break the habit once and for all. After that I didn't hide anything and I didn't want to continue being unfaithful to her. (even in my imagination)

Although I suffered from pornography for years, I am very happy to be able to say that I am now free. Pornography promises to bring all the good things in the world, but it only gives us a messed up life. But this liberation does not happen overnight. It came about through a process of change that lasted more than ten years.

**All that struggle is over and now I am free and happy. I invite you to start this path of freedom. You do not have to face this battle alone. We have prepared a free and confidential consultant for you. If you leave your address below, someone from our team will reply.