My father to me; He was my best friend, my confidant, my advocate, my hero and my first love, and like a father to many young children.

In the spring of 2004; When I was only 8 years old, my father was diagnosed with kidney and lung problems. This made him bedridden. Often in the middle of the night he gets very sick and we take him to the hospital. I always felt like we were at the bedside in the hospital. daily; It was not easy for us to watch him slowly die. At that time, I sincerely hoped and prayed for a miracle. Wish him to stay alive for me, even if it's not for anyone else! However, the disease worsened day by day.

On the first day of winter break; I went home happy that I could spend all my time with him instead of leaving him in the classroom. Unfortunately, my father passed away that day.

At two o'clock in the evening; The front door of our house was opened and many people entered the house. The atmosphere was somber and the expressions of grief ranged from loud screams to fainting. My father was supportive of his entire family, including his older siblings and parents. But now we are all left to fend for ourselves. On the second day of his death, his funeral was performed.

I was very shocked when I thought that my father was no longer with me

When I thought that my father was no longer with me, I was shocked because everything happened so quickly. I didn't even know what to think and do. Being a small child at the time, I had a childish belief that he would soon return. Even if not that day. Maybe 10 years from now. My mother tries to explain the concept of death to my brothers; But I didn't want to hear about the loss of my loved one.

A survey of life after death becomes difficult. Our lives will never be the same. Because the entire responsibility of the family falls on our mother; She had to do more work to teach us, feed us, and provide us with the things we needed. However, we were worried because our income and expenses could not be balanced. Soon we were getting desperate. Happiness became a rare emotion. We did not know how to get out of this tragedy and how to face the life ahead of us. I remember the times I used to go to his room to watch the morning cartoon show on weekends. But I cannot stay long; The fact that my father is no longer there would suddenly creep into me and I would go back to my room and cry for a few hours, then I would get out of bed and slowly go about my day. life She suddenly lost her color. Only the memories remained.

In every phase of my life, I have felt indescribable emotions; Most of it is pain. As a growing woman, I needed my father's advice and thoughts about my life path and relationships. I really wanted to talk and talk easily with someone who has pure gold love for me. Because every memory of him brings back my wounds; I spent most of the night in tears. A lot of time passed. Being indifferent to life; I began to have trouble trusting people and my self-esteem began to plummet. I don't know how to lead my life and bring it to a better path. Every time I feel like I need him, I cry. For nearly twenty years, I never planned to get out of this feeling. My life was at a standstill. But I never thought it would bring me anything but pain.

Then a friend of mine told me a profound thought about salvation. Healing does not mean that the memory or love we have for the person we lost will die; It means living our lives in a way that pleases them in heaven. We don't stop living because we lose someone. Instead, we live in a way that honors their memory and perpetuates their value. And now in this healing journey; I'm glad I traveled this far.

If you have lost a loved one and your grief has blocked your way forward, you are not alone. Healing is possible. But sometimes you have to be intentional about finding healing. Talking things through can help. Through this website, there are free and confidential counselors available to listen to your story and encourage you through the healing process. Just fill out the form below and someone will contact you shortly.